Today I cried

 I cried today. I am currently reading a book titled "A man called OVE". It's a great book that brings out many emotions - laughter, anger, happiness and today tears. I was reading a chapter on how he met and married his wife. That part brought on happiness and laughter on how they met and decided to marry. At the end of the chapter it described how his wife was in the hospital and died with him holding her hand and how he held it for over an hour after she died. After reading this my emotions came on strong.  It made me think of Susan. I wasn't with her when she died. I couldn't hold her hand. I left the hospital thinking I'd be back in a few hours. She wasn't supposed to die so fast. Then I got a call from her daughter that she passed away suddenly. I'm glad that her daughters were there when she died but I should have been there too. I wish I could have been holding her hand. In the book Ove said his life ended when his wife died. I went through a rough period after Susan died but I never felt that my life was over. I was  fortunate to have my three children close by and they supported me. I still miss Susan and I won't forget her. We had a good life together but I was able to move on and find happiness and joy in my life again.

Ode to Summer

 

Summer.  A season enjoyed by many.

Summer sneaks in sometimes in May with a few days in the seventies or even the eighties. But then spring says ‘not so fast’ and brings the temperature back to the fifties or even the forties. May is the preparation month for summer. Everything is turning green, the grass, the trees and the flowers are starting to bloom.Gardens are being planted. Summer is saying  ‘look out here I come!’ .

June is when summer makes its presence known. It may start out cool but by mid-month the temperatures are rising and there even might be a heat wave. The days are longer and the nights are shorter. It’s time to put the jeans and sweatshirts away replaced by shorts and short sleeved shirts. Everything is in full bloom now and gardens planted in May are starting to grow. June might be the time for the first trip to the beach. The sun feels so good on your body as you relax in the sand. The water temperature is still cold but you go in anyways. ‘Refreshing” you say as your feet turn blue! It does feel good thought after laying in the sun. The long summer days feel so good!

July is when summer shows it’s full colors. Heat waves are more frequent with temperatures reaching the nineties or even one hundred. This is when you hear people saying ‘its not the heat but the humidity’. It can get pretty humid and many will retreat to air-conditioned homes.But true summer lovers will still enjoy the weather.  It’s the time for forth of July parades and picnics. It's a time to sit on the safety of a porch and watch a thunderstorm as it move through..It’s the time for and ice cold beer in a frosted glass or maybe a margarita or some other tropical drink. It’s a time to go to a baseball game where you enjoy an overpriced hot dog and beer while you root on the home team. It's time to enjoy vegetables picked fresh from the garden. Corn on the cob never tasted so good! It's also a time for ice cream, that might melt over your hand before you can eat it all. 

August is a mixed month. It can start out as hot as July and there might be another heat wave. But by the end of the month with the days getting shorter there might be a chill in some nights. The air conditioner can give way to open windows at night.  Most vegetables are harvested by now and the grass isn’t growing as fast.

September is the month where summer says “not so fast, I’m not done yet”. The days in early September can be as warm as July but the nights are starting to feel cooler. The days are getting even shorter and don’t hold the heat as well. It’s a time for state fairs where the slightly cooler temperatures are welcomed. By the end of the month when autumn sneaks in it might be time to bring out the jeans and sweatshirts again.

By October summer is over but might come back for a curtain call as “Indian Summer”. The temperatures might reach the seventies for a few days but it’s short-lived. Autumn lovers will say that this is the best time. Trees are turning colors and start losing their leaves. By the end of the month there will probably be frost on the pumpkins and summer has retreated for another year.

Summer 2004

Summer. My favorite season of the year. I know. More people like autumn more with it's crisp days and cool nights and colorful leaves. My problem with autumn is the leaves. I have many mature oak trees that seem to all lose there leaves at once.

 

But I digress. This is a post about summer. I love the long days and short nights. I even like the hot days and warm nights. I can do without the humidity though. I love wearing shorts and t shirts every day. No need  for sweaters or jackets.

 

I usually start each day with a wake up bark from my dog Zoey the minute it starts getting light, which is around five thirty during the summer. I get up and feed her and open the doors so she can go out. I can do that since it's usually warm enough on summer mornings. I then go back to bed and Zoey will let herself back in when she's ready.  After going back to sleep I get up for the second time. It's time for breakfast which usually consists of cereal and a bagel or eggs and a bagel and orange juice. Zoey is always right beside me as I eat waiting for me to give her a bite. She really likes bagels and get all excited when I take them out of the toaster. After eating my breakfast I fill the bird feeders and make my coffee. I then take my coffee and cookie to the porch where I relax and watch the birds and scare away the squirrels. Zoey is there with me and for some reason she doesn't chase the squirrels. Summer sitting on the porch is the best!

 

This summer started like the summers of the past forty years. A little over forty years ago I went to Ocean Park in Maine for the first time. The whole family was there and I knew right then I found a place that I loved. So this summer wasn't any different. My kids and I rented a cottage in ocean park for the last week of June. I wasn't able to make it there last year so I was looking forward to this time even more. The week started out wet and cool. I hoped that the rest of the week was better. We all met at a restaurant in kennebunkport where we enjoyed our first taste of Maine. I had a bloody mary drink and steamers. They were delicious! After lunch we headed up to Ocean Park to check in our cottage. The cottage is pretty old being built in the late 1800's. It serves the purpose though. It has four bedrooms and a great porch. It is also close to the beach, the soda fountain and the grocery store.

The first night in Maine we all went to a Sea Dogs baseball game in Portland. Rain was forecast but it stayed dry for the entire game. Emmett had a good time and even got two souvenir balls that were thrown into the stands.

 

The rest of the week comprised of going to the beach and other activities. The water was very cold (around 59 degrees) but I did manage to go in for a quick swim. Needless to say, it was very refreshing!

 

Another activity we did was a nightly game of uno. It's very intense because the winner at the end of the week claims the uno trophy for the year. Brian and Greg usually win but this year Erica clamed the prize. Brian demanded a recount but it didn't change the results.

 

The week went by too fast as usual but I'll be there again next year. 

Father's day - 2024

 Wow! 2024. Where did the time go? Being a father has been the best part of my life. Here are a few of my memories.

Heather. She was the first. She decided that she was going to be born at three in the morning. She always has been an early bird. I got dressed and made it to Baystate in Springfield in record time. It's fortunate there weren't and police on the Mass Pike that morning. Heather was born shortly after arriving. She was a colicky baby and I spent many days and nights rocking her to sleep in my recliner. Heather thrived after that and I discovered she had a vivid imagination. She had plastic dinosaurs and other figures and she gave names to all of them. She would spend hours with them making up adventures. Heather also had a love of music at an early age which still continues today. She would sit with me listening to my albums and sometimes singing along. I still remember the words to the song "Little white duck". Her favorite albums at the time were "Peter, Paul, and mommy" by Peter, Paul and Mary and "Free to be you and me" by Marlo Thomas and friends. She was in the high school band an tried out many instruments. She tried the trombone, the trumpet, the clarinet before she settled on the saxophone.  Heather became involve in sports at an early age also which still continues today. I can remember getting hit a few times by line drives when I would pitch to her. She played field hockey, basketball and softball, her favorite sport. She continues to play softball on two teams.

 Brian. He was the second born. I believe he came in the early morning also. We arrived at the hospital and the doctor checked in and said there was still a little time to go and left. But Brian would have none of that. He decided he was coming out to the world on his time. He was delivered by the nurse before the doctor had a chance to return. Brian had a love of music too at an early age. He could really belt out the song "I just called to say I love you" by Stevie Wonder and it was his favorite record at the time. His tastes soon turned to heavier music including Def Leppard. I can remember him singing along to "Pour some sugar on it" and pretending he was the drummer. He even put one arm in a sleeve to be like the one armed drummer of the group. His love for drums continued and he took lessons and got a drum set. He was in the high school band first with the base drum (remember Heather's broken car window) and then the snare drums.  He and some of his friends started a band and practiced in my garage much to the chagrin of the neighbors. The even played at their high school graduation. Brian always loved pranks and one time made it "snow" after a concert at the high school. Brian was involved in sports also. He played soccer for several years and took up softball. He continues to play softball with his sister Heather on a team they named "Korz light".

Erin. She's the baby of the family. She wasn't like the other two and decided to be born in the afternoon. There were a few tense minutes at the time. The doctor said she was in a little distress and needed to be monitored more closely. But after a longer labor than the other two, she was born healthy and no problems. Brian was no longer the youngest of the family and for a little while he wouldn't even look at Erin. She was a good baby and she loved being with people. I have a memory of her marching in the Memorial Day parade pushing a baby in a stroller. Erin got into dance at an early age. I went to all of her recitals no matter how long they were. She also got into figure skating. I can remember watching her practice and her skating performances at a cold rink. There was traveling also to other rinks for performances. Erin had love of music too and especially like the children's duo Rosenshontz. We went to many of their concerts and I believe I still might have a couple of their cassette tape. Erin was in the high school band too where she played the flute. Erin played soccer for a few years and played field hockey in high school.

I wouldn't give up being a father for anything. It was and still is a very important of my life.  We may not have been the richest family and had to watch our money at times but we enjoyed times and had fun with what we had. All the time I spent at sporting events, concerts, recitals and other events were well worth it. I was sorry to see them all end as my three kids got older and had lives of there own. I have many other memories that I may write down before I forget them. I'm fortunate that all of them live close by and I see them at least once a week. Weekend breakfast has become a tradition except for Brian who says seven thirty is too early! 

Sundays in my childhood

 

I have many memories of how Sundays were as I was growing up. I believe I was about seven or eight when Sunday was usually a trip to West Warren. The day started early with a breakfast that consisted of scrambled egg, toast and coffee. Yes, I started drinking coffee at an early age. I can still remember the sound of the coffee perking on the stove and the smell of freshly brewed coffee.

After breakfast we would pile in my dad’s old Chevy for the trip to West Warren. The trip was over what is now Old Warren Road. We called it the bumpy road. It was really bumpy at that time and it went up and down like a roller coaster. There weren’t many houses on the road back then and we all would pick out a house and call it our own. I remember my house was a trailer and my brother's was a house set back off the road in the woods. My dad would sometimes pull over to the side of the road and would say ‘We’re out if gas’. We believed him the first few times and would wonder how we would get home since it was always a deserted section of road where he stopped. I think I inherited his love of practical jokes because I still pull some on my own kids.

The first stop of the morning would be our Baci’s house. A few facts about my Baci. She was born in 1884 in Poland. She immigrated to the United States in 1908 and came to Ellis Island at the age of 14.  She lived in a two-family house with her daughter Lizzi, Lissi’s husband Joe, and Lizzi’s daughter Mary Jane. We would usually find Baci in the living room in her rocking chair. She would have a glass of blackberry brandy and my dad would join her with a glass too. ‘Best Medicine’ she would say. When I got older, I was offered a glass too. The house always smelled Polish specialties. There was usually pierogi, golumpki and kapusta. If it was around Easter or Christmas there would be more food including babka bread which was delicious. Baci also had chocolate covered strawberry candies which were offered to us.  We never left hungry from Baci’s house. Baci taught herself English but she and my dad would often speak in Polish. I have more to add to this post and will update it soon.

 

What's going on

  I haven't written much lately but a lot of things have been going on in my life. About 4 years ago my partner Susan was diagnosed with brain cancer. She had been having trouble with one of her legs and none of the tests showed anything wrong with it. The doctor decided to do a cat scan of her brain and that showed she had a tumor that was malignant. She was operated on it and they said most of up was removed. She then had infusions to try to control what was left. Unfortunately, she couldn't tolerate the treatments and her overall health declined. After being in the hospital for gastric problems, she passed away in October 2020. I knew that this outcome was coming but it still hit me hard. I'm much better now but I still miss her. I continue to live in the house that we purchased.

The next major event in my life involved my mom. She turned 98 on August second, 2022. Her health had been failing and it was very difficult for her to move around. She did manage to stay in her home though and enjoyed the many visits and help from her family. Sadly, she passed away on New years day, 2022. I will write another blog post of my memories of her soon.

My life hasn't been all sadness. I'm in a new relationship with a person who has brought joy back in to my life. My daughter purchased my mother's house and has been busy renovating it. So the house is still in the family. My other daughter gave birth to a son in 2022 so I'm a grandpa now. He is almost two now and growing up fast. My son is still living in my former home and he's been renovating that too. He has a boat which I go out on occasionally. I purchased a new car this year. I had to give up having a standard transmission but I really like my new car.

Bedtime Storries

One thing I miss now is bedtime stories. When my children were young I would always read to them every night. It started with Heather. She had many favorite books but the one I remember most is "Sign Posts". It was a book I bought from a book sale that contained many stories. Her favorite story was "Daddy are we lost". It told the story of a family going on a trip to a certain destination that had many twists and turns. The father would ask for directions but almost always ended up where he started. And that's when the daughter would ask "daddy are we lost?". Everyone the dad would ask for directions end up saying "You can't miss it!". But of course the dad did miss it and finally admitted he was lost.

Brian was next. He had many favorite books too. One of the was "Green eggs and Ham" by Dr Seuss. I think I can still remember the whole book. He also liked "Are you my mother?" a story about a bird that was lost and kept asking different animals ig they were his mother. He finally did find her in the end.

Lastly was Erin. She had many favorite books also. She like Dr Seuss and books that I read to Brian and Erin.

I can still remember how I would lay down in their beds every night and read one or two books to them before they went to sleep. It was a very special time. I really missed it when they were all older and didn't need a bedtime story any more. All of them are avid readers and I like to believe I had something to do with that. We sometimes will share the same book.