Father's day - 2024

 Wow! 2024. Where did the time go? Being a father has been the best part of my life. Here are a few of my memories.

Heather. She was the first. She decided that she was going to be born at three in the morning. She always has been an early bird. I got dressed and made it to Baystate in Springfield in record time. It's fortunate there weren't and police on the Mass Pike that morning. Heather was born shortly after arriving. She was a colicky baby and I spent many days and nights rocking her to sleep in my recliner. Heather thrived after that and I discovered she had a vivid imagination. She had plastic dinosaurs and other figures and she gave names to all of them. She would spend hours with them making up adventures. Heather also had a love of music at an early age which still continues today. She would sit with me listening to my albums and sometimes singing along. I still remember the words to the song "Little white duck". Her favorite albums at the time were "Peter, Paul, and mommy" by Peter, Paul and Mary and "Free to be you and me" by Marlo Thomas and friends. She was in the high school band an tried out many instruments. She tried the trombone, the trumpet, the clarinet before she settled on the saxophone.  Heather became involve in sports at an early age also which still continues today. I can remember getting hit a few times by line drives when I would pitch to her. She played field hockey, basketball and softball, her favorite sport. She continues to play softball on two teams.

 Brian. He was the second born. I believe he came in the early morning also. We arrived at the hospital and the doctor checked in and said there was still a little time to go and left. But Brian would have none of that. He decided he was coming out to the world on his time. He was delivered by the nurse before the doctor had a chance to return. Brian had a love of music too at an early age. He could really belt out the song "I just called to say I love you" by Stevie Wonder and it was his favorite record at the time. His tastes soon turned to heavier music including Def Leppard. I can remember him singing along to "Pour some sugar on it" and pretending he was the drummer. He even put one arm in a sleeve to be like the one armed drummer of the group. His love for drums continued and he took lessons and got a drum set. He was in the high school band first with the base drum (remember Heather's broken car window) and then the snare drums.  He and some of his friends started a band and practiced in my garage much to the chagrin of the neighbors. The even played at their high school graduation. Brian always loved pranks and one time made it "snow" after a concert at the high school. Brian was involved in sports also. He played soccer for several years and took up softball. He continues to play softball with his sister Heather on a team they named "Korz light".

Erin. She's the baby of the family. She wasn't like the other two and decided to be born in the afternoon. There were a few tense minutes at the time. The doctor said she was in a little distress and needed to be monitored more closely. But after a longer labor than the other two, she was born healthy and no problems. Brian was no longer the youngest of the family and for a little while he wouldn't even look at Erin. She was a good baby and she loved being with people. I have a memory of her marching in the Memorial Day parade pushing a baby in a stroller. Erin got into dance at an early age. I went to all of her recitals no matter how long they were. She also got into figure skating. I can remember watching her practice and her skating performances at a cold rink. There was traveling also to other rinks for performances. Erin had love of music too and especially like the children's duo Rosenshontz. We went to many of their concerts and I believe I still might have a couple of their cassette tape. Erin was in the high school band too where she played the flute. Erin played soccer for a few years and played field hockey in high school.

I wouldn't give up being a father for anything. It was and still is a very important of my life.  We may not have been the richest family and had to watch our money at times but we enjoyed times and had fun with what we had. All the time I spent at sporting events, concerts, recitals and other events were well worth it. I was sorry to see them all end as my three kids got older and had lives of there own. I have many other memories that I may write down before I forget them. I'm fortunate that all of them live close by and I see them at least once a week. Weekend breakfast has become a tradition except for Brian who says seven thirty is too early! 

Sundays in my childhood

 

I have many memories of how Sundays were as I was growing up. I believe I was about seven or eight when Sunday was usually a trip to West Warren. The day started early with a breakfast that consisted of scrambled egg, toast and coffee. Yes, I started drinking coffee at an early age. I can still remember the sound of the coffee perking on the stove and the smell of freshly brewed coffee.

After breakfast we would pile in my dad’s old Chevy for the trip to West Warren. The trip was over what is now Old Warren Road. We called it the bumpy road. It was really bumpy at that time and it went up and down like a roller coaster. There weren’t many houses on the road back then and we all would pick out a house and call it our own. I remember my house was a trailer and my brother's was a house set back off the road in the woods. My dad would sometimes pull over to the side of the road and would say ‘We’re out if gas’. We believed him the first few times and would wonder how we would get home since it was always a deserted section of road where he stopped. I think I inherited his love of practical jokes because I still pull some on my own kids.

The first stop of the morning would be our Baci’s house. A few facts about my Baci. She was born in 1884 in Poland. She immigrated to the United States in 1908 and came to Ellis Island at the age of 14.  She lived in a two-family house with her daughter Lizzi, Lissi’s husband Joe, and Lizzi’s daughter Mary Jane. We would usually find Baci in the living room in her rocking chair. She would have a glass of blackberry brandy and my dad would join her with a glass too. ‘Best Medicine’ she would say. When I got older, I was offered a glass too. The house always smelled Polish specialties. There was usually pierogi, golumpki and kapusta. If it was around Easter or Christmas there would be more food including babka bread which was delicious. Baci also had chocolate covered strawberry candies which were offered to us.  We never left hungry from Baci’s house. Baci taught herself English but she and my dad would often speak in Polish. I have more to add to this post and will update it soon.

 

What's going on

  I haven't written much lately but a lot of things have been going on in my life. About 4 years ago my partner Susan was diagnosed with brain cancer. She had been having trouble with one of her legs and none of the tests showed anything wrong with it. The doctor decided to do a cat scan of her brain and that showed she had a tumor that was malignant. She was operated on it and they said most of up was removed. She then had infusions to try to control what was left. Unfortunately, she couldn't tolerate the treatments and her overall health declined. After being in the hospital for gastric problems, she passed away in October 2020. I knew that this outcome was coming but it still hit me hard. I'm much better now but I still miss her. I continue to live in the house that we purchased.

The next major event in my life involved my mom. She turned 98 on August second, 2022. Her health had been failing and it was very difficult for her to move around. She did manage to stay in her home though and enjoyed the many visits and help from her family. Sadly, she passed away on New years day, 2022. I will write another blog post of my memories of her soon.

My life hasn't been all sadness. I'm in a new relationship with a person who has brought joy back in to my life. My daughter purchased my mother's house and has been busy renovating it. So the house is still in the family. My other daughter gave birth to a son in 2022 so I'm a grandpa now. He is almost two now and growing up fast. My son is still living in my former home and he's been renovating that too. He has a boat which I go out on occasionally. I purchased a new car this year. I had to give up having a standard transmission but I really like my new car.

Bedtime Storries

One thing I miss now is bedtime stories. When my children were young I would always read to them every night. It started with Heather. She had many favorite books but the one I remember most is "Sign Posts". It was a book I bought from a book sale that contained many stories. Her favorite story was "Daddy are we lost". It told the story of a family going on a trip to a certain destination that had many twists and turns. The father would ask for directions but almost always ended up where he started. And that's when the daughter would ask "daddy are we lost?". Everyone the dad would ask for directions end up saying "You can't miss it!". But of course the dad did miss it and finally admitted he was lost.

Brian was next. He had many favorite books too. One of the was "Green eggs and Ham" by Dr Seuss. I think I can still remember the whole book. He also liked "Are you my mother?" a story about a bird that was lost and kept asking different animals ig they were his mother. He finally did find her in the end.

Lastly was Erin. She had many favorite books also. She like Dr Seuss and books that I read to Brian and Erin.

I can still remember how I would lay down in their beds every night and read one or two books to them before they went to sleep. It was a very special time. I really missed it when they were all older and didn't need a bedtime story any more. All of them are avid readers and I like to believe I had something to do with that. We sometimes will share the same book.

My home town

I recently watched a program about Bruce Springsteen where he sang about his home town which got me thinking about my home town. I was born and grew up in Palmer Massachusetts and specifically the village of Thorndike. It's a typical small mill town. The mill in Thorndike was Diamond National which manufactured egg cartons. It was also the place where my dad worked for over 35 years. This might be a boring post to some but the following is a description of how Thorndike was in the 60's.

I'll start with a tour of Commercial Street. It really was commercial at that time. The first place we come to is Tyburski's dairy bar. Entering it there was a magazine rack to the right where we would browse the magazines until we heard the familiar call "This isn't a library!". So then we would go to the counter where there were several stools. We might order an ice cream cone that cost ten cents (fifteen if you wanted a large cone). Or maybe we'll have a frappe which costs thirty cents. There was also a selection of sodas for ten cents. It was a true soda fountain where you could order the flavor of soda you liked best, from a coke or a vanilla coke, or a cherry coke. If you felt brave, you could order a zombie, which was a squirt of all the flavors. There was so much to choose from there and we would hang out until the owner had enough of us and threw us out.

Next on the street was a laundry mat which I didn't frequent.Before it was the laundry mat it was a grocery store owned by the Lapota family. I can remember going there a few times befor it went out of business.  After that was a store call Charlies Variety. This store had quite the variety of things but it was famous for it's candy. It was a favorite stop for kids after school. The owner was Charlie of course. He seemed gruff behind the counter usually with an unlit cigar in his mouth but he had a heart of gold. I can remember going there for daily and Sunday newspapers.  Outside of the store was a coke machine where you could get a bottle of coke for ten cents. You always had to check the bottom of the bottle. If it was red, you would get a free coke and if it was gold you would get twenty five cents.

The next place up the street was the Thorndike post office. Thorndike didn't have mail delivery (it still doesn't) so everyone would come to the post office to get their mail. It was a great place to meet people and get the latest gossip. Inside were a couple of walls of post office boxes, each with it's own combination to open it. I can still remember the number of our box, 217, though I don't remember the combination. The post office has since moved to a newer building on Church Street.

Moving up the street there was Bob's barber shop, one of two barber shops that were on Commercial Street. We never went to his shop very often..

 Crossing the street from there was Topor's grocery store. I don't know much about is since we didn't do much shopping there.

Down the street was a place called the Thorndike Cafe, or commonly known as Salomons. It was a small white building (it's still there) and inside was a bar and several tables. Inside also was a bowling game that used a disk that would slide down to "knock down" the pins. We would go in there to play every now and then. It also had a Jukebox for music. One of the things I can remember was the pizza. It was the best pizza in Thorndike. It was also the only pizza in Thorndike but it was good. It was a thin crust pizza and I can remember my mom would always get one on Thursday night.Attached to the building was a hall where special events like marriages or birthday parties were held.  Next to the cafe were horseshoe pits that anyone could use for free. I spent many an afternoon playing horseshoes there.

The next place on the street was/is St Joe's club. It's a Polish American club but anyone can go there. It's the one bar on the street that is still open. When I was growing up it was the bar that many of the factory workers went to for a drink after their shift at the mills. By 3:15 on most days the bar would be full. It's still a popular place but not quite as busy as when the mills were open. Growing up, we used to sneak upstairs from the bar to where there was a pool table. Most bartenders didn't say anything but we were kicked out a few times. My dad worked there one evening a week. Attached to the bar is a hall where many weddings and other occasions were held including the wedding ceremony of two of my sisters.

Next stop on the street is a building that used to house two businesses. The first was Quink's market. It was a small grocery store where we did most of our shopping. It didn't have everything but it had the necessitates. Mr Quink was also a butcher and he had a good selection of meats. My mom would send me down to pick up a few things and I never needed money. We would always "put it on the tab" and then pay it at the end of the week. The other business was Art's barber shop. It's where I always went for my haircuts. Art was known to have coughing spells while cutting your hair. It's a wonder that I still have both my ears! I remember that most boys would get a crew cut haircut in the summer. My brother and I wouldn't get a crew cut but we would get a 'baseball special' which was the same thing.

The last place on Commercial Street was the Citgo gas station. It was part owned by my grandfather and it's the place where I think I had my first job pumping gas. Back then it was always a job finding where the filler on cars was. Sometimes it was behind the license plate and on some cars it was behind the rear tail light. Gas at that time was about 30 cents. You could easily fill your tank for $5.

Thorndike also had it's own grammar school which was on the corner of Main Street and Commercial Street. It's where I spent my first eight years of school. Back then we had double classes which meant that two grades would be in the same classroom, like first and second grades. The teacher would teach to one grade and then give them work to do while she taught the othe grade. I remember we could walk home for lunch before returning to school by one o'clock. I was a crossing guard so it was my job to stop traffic and keep everyone in line. There were lunches at the school but only for the bus students. We also had a milk break in the morning. A glass bottle of milk costed three cents back then. 
I have fond memories "hanging out" on Commercial Street. There was no internet or cell phones back then. We would usually sit on the grass near St. Joe's club just talking or maybe playing cards. It was a much simpler time back then. Sometimes I wish we could have a reunion of the "Thorndike boys" but I don't think that will ever happen.

Driving

I feel that I'm a pretty patient person (except maybe grocery store lines, where I have been known to switch 3 times to save thirty seconds). The one thing I have a problem with though is driving and other drivers. I've never went as far as road rage but some drivers can really test my patience. Here is a list of some of them.

1. Sir brake-a-lot. This person is constantly hitting the brake while driving. Being in back of them is trying. They brake on the slightest curve. The brake going down hill. They brake going up hill. They brake approaching a green traffic light. They brake if there's a car coming out of a side street. I'd hate to see how often they need to get their brakes replaced.

2. Mr left lane. This person drives in the left lane of a multi-lane road and never moves over. It doesn't matter that they are going slower than most of the other traffic. It doesn't seem to matter that everyone is passing them on the right and flipping them the bird. I can almost imagine them singing to the tune of exodus - "This lane is mine, god gave this lane to me". Hopefully their days are numbered since you can now get a ticket for driving in the left lane when you are not passing.

3. Little miss blinker. This is the person whose turn signal is constantly on. I never know where they are going to turn if they ever do turn. I just see the constant "blink, blink, blink".

4. Mr no blinker. This is the opposite of little miss blinker. This person thinks that turn signals are for other drivers but not him. He'll be in front of you when all of a sudden he'll make a turn into a side street or driveway and expect you to slam on your brakes so you don't run into them.

5. Mr change lanes. This driver is on a multi-lane road and keeps changing lanes to pass other cars. He'll go from the middle lane, to the right lane, back to the middle lane, and then to the left lane. Sometimes he'll go from the right lane directly into the left lane. All of this lane changing might get him ahead of two or three cars. It's especially frustrating in heavy traffic where he will squeeze in front of you if you leave more than ten feet from the car in front of you.

6. Joe slow. This is the one who drives under the speed limit and it's usually on a road where it's very hard to pass. So you're stuck in back of him for miles. He might be on the turnpike where he makes everyone change lanes to pass

To be continued....

Breakfast

Breakfast has always been my favorite meal. I think I realized that when I was around five or six years old. We lived in a multi-family house at the time right next door to my Nana. I would get up early and have breakfast at my house. It was usually eggs and toast, white Wonder bread or rye from Tyburski's bakery. Sometimes it would be oatmeal. I can still remember the names of the oatmeal we would get. It was Maltex or Maypo. I liked Maypo more because it was a little sweeter. We couldn't afford bacon very often being a family of seven with my dad working in the local mill and my mom at home taking care of all of us kids. After breakfast, I would go next door to Nana's where I would have a second breakfast. It was at this time at the age of five I started drinking coffee. I can remember my Nana having her cup of tea and I would have a cup of coffee. I've been drinking coffee ever since. There were usually some muffins to eat too. And if you were good, you could go into the pantry and help yourself to cookies from the cookie jar. My kids can still remember that special pantry. I have fond memories of coffee perking on the stove and waking up to the smell of that strong coffee. Even when I went into the Navy and boot camp at Great Lakes Illinois, one of the memories I have is waiting in sub freezing temperatures at six a.m. to get in the mess hall for breakfast. I never missed it! After I had kids of my own, I usually was in charge of making breakfast for them. It was usually eggs or cold cereal. They loved the sweet cereals of the time like Coco Puffs or fruit loops.

Today breakfast is still my favorite meal. I usually get up, make my coffee and fix myself an egg. I always have to fix one for Zoey our golden retriever too. She likes hers over easy just like me. If I break the yellow on mine she gets that egg. She doesn't seem to mind. Sometimes I'll fix oatmeal for Susan and I or have cold cereal. We usually go out for breakfast at least once a week. Our favorite place is the Apple Barn and my favorite breakfast is "Nana's french toast". I wonder if my Nana had something to do with that being on the menu. It's the one meal that I get together with my kids the most often too. I guess in instilled my love for breakfast in them too.